But it’s not batik?!
I was driving with that fuming thought in my mind a day before my daughter Jeanina’s program, which had a Mindanao Theme. Our family’s supposedly-reliable dress shop along Kamuning did not take my instructions to heart, and something i shelled out 900 pesos for. The black leotards was perfect. BUt have you seen a sarong in floral pink, ever?? Was this a Luau party? Haha. But i had no choice but to accept that this happens, very basic mishaps of my single momminess who has no time to double check. Oh well, lesson learned from now on - I buy the cloth, and they just sew my design.
The beauty of it all though, Nina came out radiant in the program. My Yaya Linda even thinks it worked best. Standing out from the dark browns, golds and beiges donned by other kids on the stage. Well that’s MY view, a mom wronged by the dressmaker, finding positivity in my domestic oversight. Surprisingly, she was the Reyna of the tribe! I couldn’t believe my eyes! I wish the teacher told me earlier, so i could’ve spruced up Nina’s costume a lot more. Nevertheless, my little achooch looked so so pretty with her hair in a neat bun, with pearls draped over her forehead. Her “imperfect” costume that she wore proudly, unnknowing of my private concerns. But other than that, I was so happy to see her up on stage saying a few lines about “Manny pacquaio being one of the popular people from Mindanao”…sigh. I can only smile to myself at how big she’s become. How she somehow shed her “tomboy” gestures to play a little Tribal Reyna for us all. A Lea Salonga in the making? Why not?!
Bottomline, proud mommy I was again and Nina had a grand time in her “unbatik” skirt all the way to Metrowalk 
and i’m passing on my ruthless thought of asking for a refund.
a sticky statement
“No one writes to each other anymore.”
So a good friend laments to me. This thought resonates in my mind, and sadly, in quiet agreement. Where has the anticipation of getting snail mail all gone? Or how sending a special someone or relative a Fiesta Greeting or Hallmark card feels like a grand surprise by itself? When do you remember making a hand written note, that (for a change) is not a reminder for work?
The way of the world has changed all these. Somehow technology has plagued our existence, and has made personal communication easier, but rather impersonal. Chat windows become substitutes for real coffee break conversations or leisurely dinners out. We are all guilty of this. Relegating friendship affectations with a smiley icon or a hugging one, if you feel fuzzy about them. Sympathizing with a girl friend’s fairytale love turned tragic Gossip girl material with a sad face, or long well-crafted words of encouragement. At those moments, you feel you’ve helped them big time. And in those moments, they felt you really REALLY cared. No hugs required. No pats on the back needed. No rushing to their side in haste. Somehow, friendships lived through this and surprisingly, grew deeper even.
People have learned to adjust with life nowadays perhaps? With life whizzing by at a pace we all can’t keep track sometimes. We go with the flow of deadlines, of duties - and rely on this convenient technology of “messengers” and hope against hope it sends our messages across with as much feeling as it can. As if we can virtually fling our compassion, our care, our fondness through the air and finally reach them.
Tonight is an exception though. Silly “smileys” and virtual hugs can’t completely do it for me. A REAL friendly face, with real expressions and real laughter - and serious “in-my-face” advice was what I really needed.
Tonight, up on the 3rd floor, a constant friendship flourishes a wee bit more - and happily, beyond my fancy keyboards.
thoughts | Comment (0)Muay Thai anyone?
I am seriously thinking of working out again, by way of this Thai boxing. For muscle strengthening and weight loss purposes. And God knows, how much weight i need to shed despite my de-carbing during dinners. Seeing a muay thai demo on tv, and the solid moves , kicks appealed to me and somehow my lazy butt tells me, yea i think i can do that.
Months ago, I have tried boxing somewhere around wilson a few times. Honestly, the instructor who worked with me, was impressed with my punches and showered me with praises. He couldn’t believe i was a neophyte. If only his ecouragement can sway me to put boxing into my way of life then…then maybe i would be trimmer me now?
Probably a few more viewing sessions of Beijing games can jumpstart my desire to really take action? I should i should do Muay Thai. Unless i stay overweight forever…:( In the meantime, few more researching of sessions hopefully nearby…..wish me luck!
p.s. this entry was not proofread..lazzyyy saturday… 
untitled
what does it really mean?
how does it really feel?
how do you even begin to measure it?
when do you start believing it?
you try and believe you got a glimpse of it.
yet it disintegrates before you can even daydream of it.
it lures you in deep, just to find out it was an illogical whim.
it exhilarates you, it brings you to a place of peace.
other times, it’s excruciating and bleeds your soul dry.
amusing we’re still alive even aftr it stabs you a zillion times.
we hope for it, but it doesn’t happen.
we shout our hearts out, but no one listens.
is this what it really means?
that four letter word | Comment (0)an entry unearthed
DRUNK CRAZY TONIGHT, SOBER MAMA TOMORROW
(written Aug24, 2004, from another blog in cyberspace)
Yeah, I admit I Am both. If you read on, it’s not as bad as it sounds, really.
Everybody knows this. Friends, relatives all. I’m a certified gimikera through and through. By heart, and by blood….NOTE: Alcohol intake: 4 times a week, not including wkends. Kaladkarin ratio: 9.5 out of 10 gimiks. Official position: social organizer (parties start & end w/me) Worst sked ever: 3 gimiks in one whole day til night.
So can you imagine what an unexpected arrival of a baby or marriage can do to someone like me? Not devastating as others would think. This reality came to me just at the right time. And surprisingly, motherhood becomes me. Who could have expected that? Not me. I shock myself sometimes. Maybe it helped how I embraced MY reality wholeheartedly and with absolute eagerness. Seeing this as my next inevitable step in my existence.
But unlike others who turn into lousy, duster-wearing, no nightlife, boring mother person – I, on the other hand, am not about ready to completely abandon my previous lifestyle all at once. Why should I?
Who said everyday should be have routinary life, from work to home? Who said you can’t party hard like you used to once or twice a week? Or watch a movie on wide screen w/your husband or boyfriend for a change? Or indulge in an lavish half-day session at the Spa or Salon? Or you can’t spend on expensive things for yourself? These are not selfish whims but bits & pieces of your `fun’ self that you shouldn’t lose. `Cause when that day comes, that will be the beginning of the end of yourself.
And I think that’s the trick to parenthood. Always think you have a choice. You have a choice not to succumb to the debilitating effects of parenthood. Go continue being the same YOU. Having a baby/family isn’t the pit stop of your dreams. In fact that should be the positive force to work ON your dreams…and this time, now even more, with feelings. HAHA. Besides `EVERYBODY DESERVES A BREAK!’
Like my friend’s retort about men’s confusion by women’s incessant parlor visits, “To be a good mom you have to be good to yourself first”. My kinda girl. And I agree.
So don’t expect me to even think resentment-filled, depressing statements like……”No, I never go out anymore”……”My nightlife is zero”….”I think I lost myself in the process of caring for my family”….”I don’t know who I am now aside from mother and wife”….and such, such feeling-sorry-for-myself thoughts.
If you ask me…I AM still the same me. Free-spirited drunkard sometimes but loving Mommy mostly. So expect to see me party hard, travel plenty — even with jeanina’s nappies & bottles in tow. Hehe.
DAMN AND I STILL FEEL THE SAME! and that’s a great thing.